OMG, OMG, OMG! How in the world did I let this happen?
What? Do I not own a mirror?
I can't believe I let myself slip so far away.
GONE!... Is any sense of caring, self preservation or dignity... I thought it was bad when I stopped shaving my legs and called it "winter legs" (but in reality, they are year round-unless I need to wear a bathing suit-legs). I thought it was bad when I went on an every three week arm pit shaving cycle... And it got really bad when I was failing to maintain two separate (but equal) eyebrows.
I knew it was bad--but not this bad.
All the extras that some (civilized) women call mandatory, well I have been calling them optional and let me just tell you, the hippie wave has hit me hard... TOO HARD!
Sure I'm lacking maitnance because, at this point, self-maintenance is very low on the priority scale. For example, my showers last about 3 minutes now and they are strictly business... Sadly, I can't say I am trying to make any sort of feminist statement or ANY statement for that matter, not deliberately anyway... But I am sure people are hearing it loud and clear... This thing, I am not trying to say, but am screaming at the top of my lungs and from the side of my face!
This statement says... "That lady doesn't give a FUCK! "
Really-truly that's what it says... It's not me... I don't talk like that... It's ma face!
And where am I going with all of this? Well, I will tell you... AND... I will show you!!!
I hope you are not eating while you are reading this.
I HAVE A FREAKIN' SPIDER ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!
Can you even believe it?
If you know me... And didn't tell me (which is everyone)... We are not friends--anymore!
What happened??? How did I not see it!?
It was right there, not in front of... But ON my face.
It did not crawl on there over night... And just decide to post up. No it has been in the works, people... And no one told me! Fuck all of you-- And my husband who thinks all of my uglies are pretties, I can't believe you hadn't complimented me on this by now... How did YOU not see it? This falls right under the compliments I'd rather not receive category... You are the best at that- WHAT HAPPENED?
I am a total tarantula face... Disaster!
You know what I would have done? I would have asked you about it, that's what.
I would have said, " Um... Do you know about that? Are you AWARE?... Of what is going on over there???... On the left side? The mole? The a hairs, and such? You got that?"
WWRD... That's what I would have done! Like a GOOD FRIEND I would have gone there with you.
I don't know if I will ever be able to show my spider face in public again!